Evidently Joab (David"s commander-in-chief and nephew by his half-sister, Zeruiah; 1 Chronicles 2:16) concluded that it would be politically better for David and Israel if David brought Absalom back to Jerusalem from Geshur (cf. 2 Samuel 14:7; 2 Samuel 14:13-15). Absalom was, of course, now David"s heir to the throne by custom, though Yahweh had designated Solomon to succeed his father. David had a great love for Absalom even though he was a murderer ( 2 Samuel 14:1; cf. 2 Samuel 13:37; cf. 2 Samuel 13:39). David had a large capacity to love; he loved God and many other people greatly. Often people who love greatly find it difficult to confront and discipline. [source][source][source]
The story Joab gave the "actress" from Tekoa (10 miles south of Jerusalem) to tell duplicated David"s own problem with Absalom (cf. the story that God had put in Nathan"s mouth, 2 Samuel 12:1-4). By putting the murderer to death, the woman"s hostile relatives would have deprived her of her means of support ( 2 Samuel 14:7; cf. the story of Cain and Abel, Genesis 4:1-8). By putting Absalom to death, David would have deprived himself of his heir, which Joab evidently perceived Absalom to be. Since David promised not to execute the woman"s son ( 2 Samuel 14:11), it would be inconsistent for him to refrain from pardoning Absalom ( 2 Samuel 14:13). The wise woman urged David to remember the LORD his God, specifically, His mercy ( 2 Samuel 14:11). [source][source][source]
"David"s reference to the "hair" of the woman"s "son" is both ironic and poignant: The hair of his own son Absalom was not only an index of his handsome appearance (cf. 2 Samuel 14:25-26) but would also contribute to his undoing (cf. 2 Samuel 18:9-15)." [1][source]
The woman"s references to "the people of God" (i.e, Israel, 2 Samuel 14:13; cf. 2 Samuel 14:14-15; 2 Samuel 14:17) point to popular support for Absalom and a common desire that David would pardon him and allow him to return to Jerusalem. [source][source][source]
David had personally experienced God"s mercy and had escaped death for his adultery and murder ( 2 Samuel 12:13). The woman appealed to David to deal with Absalom as God had dealt with him, or the nation would suffer ( 2 Samuel 14:14). 2 Samuel 14:14 is a key verse in this chapter. The wise "actress" reminded David that God does not take away life, that Isaiah , He does not delight in punishing people. Rather He plans ways by which guilty people can enjoy reconciliation with Himself. The Cross of Christ is the greatest historical proof of this truth. Judgment is God"s "strange" work ( Isaiah 28:21); mercy is what He delights to display. Thus, David should be godly and make a way to show mercy to Absalom, rather than punishing him with death, according to Joab. [source][source][source]
David knew that Joab wanted him to pardon Absalom. He sensed that the woman"s arguments had come from him ( 2 Samuel 14:18-19). Joab had written the script for the skit that she had performed ( 2 Samuel 14:19-20). [source][source][source]
"Ironically, Joab"s demise begins at precisely the point where another woman (Bathsheba) is sent to the king by a thoroughly self-interested [2] statesman (Nathan) in order to foil the succession of the next in line after Absalom (Adonijah) and so to secure the crown for Solomon ( 1 Kings 1:11-31)." [3][source]
There are parallels between this incident and Abigail"s appeal to David in 1 Samuel 25:24. [4][source]